4 hours and 45 minutes into 2015 the call came!!

 GOOD NEWS!!  This update is not being posted by Melissa because the time has come!!

 It's kind of ironic that after Melissa's Facebook post from New Years Eve we're in Edmonton

"2012, 2013 and 2014 didn't deliver lungs, here's to hoping 2015 will be better!"

At 4:45 am January 1st the call from the transplant coordinator came in. They have suitable lungs for Melissa and we have 2 hours to travel to Edmonton to get the ball rolling.   Wow, what a moment!! The house lights came on and the packing began. This is what we have been waiting for 2 1/2 years!! Melissa dusted off her bag that she packed when she was first accept for a transplant and Joanne started throwing clothes from her closet. Wow!! Is this really happening?  Within 20 minutes the journey to Edmonton was under way. Time to chat about the future, no oxygen hose wrapped around the pets, no coughing fits in the middle of the night and best of all Melissa will be able to take a deep breath like the rest of us!! Something that she has never been able to do.  

Shortly before 7am we arrived at the hospital filled with excitement that this really might happen. Time to get admitted and get this game started. As we sat in Melissa's room she says "Mom, Am I dreaming? Is this really happening?"  Joanne laughed and said " I think so!"  Shortly there after the transplant coordinator entered the room and introduced herself and said that everything was a go. Time to start the tests and fill out some forms. Time to share the good news!! What better way to start a frenzy then to post it to Facebook!!   

 Well it worked!! The text messages, FB posts and best wishes started flooding the bandwidth. Over a 100 likes on Facebook and counting and Melissa says "Mom, look at all the likes I have!!"  All the communication from loved ones helped to pass the time away. First they said that things would start around 2 then it was pushed to between 4-5 and then 5:30.  At approximately 4pm it was time to shower and shave the inch long hair from her legs.  She said that, not me!! Into the shower she goes with her little care package that has been tucked away in here bag since the beginning. Then the call for help, "Mom I can't shave my arm hair!! " Joanne entered the bathroom to help with the process and the laughter began.  It sounded like two little kids in a splash park. Once that ordeal was over, Melissa  started to brush her teeth. Another laughter outbreak?? What the heck is going on in there?  Ha ha Melissa's tooth pasted was expired!! Who knew there was expired date on tooth paste??  As 5:30pm came closer and closer the time was not changed. Wow, this might be the time that we have been waiting for. As the room full of family paced and watched the clock, a stretcher arrived outside the door for a special pick up. It was time!!! 

 Like a trooper that she is she walked right over to the  stretcher and climb right on. As she was pushed down the hallway to the OR the family followed nervously behind. This is really going to happen!! Quietly we all entered the elevator and down we went. Slowly Melissa was wheeled into the prep room.  Time for another picture!!

A round of hugs and kisses and at 6:05pm and she was taken to the OR.  Time for us to get some rest. At 1:15am the surgeon talked to Melissa's dad and said that the surgery went really good. Finally at 4am we got the opportunity to see Melissa for the first time after the operation. Wow!! She looked great. Sure there's tubes coming from everywhere and medication being pumped from high tech machines but she looked great!! What a relief that everything went so good. 

Cold winter days = Long days inside!

Well, summer and fall have come and gone and I don't feel I am much further ahead in this lung transplant journey. It is turning into a never ending marathon. A marathon I feel I will complete and win eventually, but the miles along the way are very long.

With the cold months upon us, I find myself spending a lot more time at home, where it is warm and comfortable. The days seem to go by much slower, and I find myself thinking about things a lot more now.

Why me? That is one thing that has been on my mind lately. Why me? Why was I chosen to be the one to go through all of these struggles. Is it that I hit the unlucky jackpot with genetics or is it because everyone knows that I am strong and can deal with the battle at hand.

Don't get me wrong, I am not wishing my illnesses on anyone else, I just want to know why me? I don't want anyone to take this as I am feeling sorry for myself either. I am one of those people in the world who has big plans. Plans to finish University, start my teaching career, get married, and start a family. Even though I have all of these dreams and goals in life, I have been thrown a curve-ball. A curve-ball which I intend to hit out of the park, but still I ask myself, why me? Why did I have to be thrown this curve-ball. Why does anyone have to be dealt these cards in life?

I miss all of the things that I could do before. Simple things like laughing, showering, and walking have become chores now. I find myself thinking about all of the dreams I have for my future and that is what is fueling my fire. I tell myself that "one day I will get there, and I will accomplish all of my goals." All while knowing there is a chance I will not. I do not want these thoughts of failure clouding my "road to new lungs marathon." Instead I tell myself to push these thoughts aside and only focus on the positives. I will breathe easy again. I will laugh like crazy again. I will belt out horrible tunes in my car again. I will run around again, free of tubes and coughing fits.

Even though I am remaining relatively stable, it does not make this journey any easier. My life is on hold. I am 23 years old and my life is on hold. I would love to be going out and doing everything that I once did before my lungs turned on me, but instead I find myself consciously thinking about every breath I take and hoping to be able to keep taking many more!

I know this is starting to sound depressing, but I would consider myself the furthest thing from depressed. All of these thoughts have been encouraging me to fight. To fight harder and longer than I ever have before. To keep going. To keep marching forward. I will not let my disease win. I will not let these 23 year old nasty lungs destroy me.

I know that I am strong and capable of fighting this. I have an amazing support system behind me in terms of my family and health care professionals. They are all on my side and will not let me give up either. Giving up would prove that I was dealt a hand in life that I cannot handle. I CAN handle this and I WILL beat it!

So when I get back to thinking "why me," I have to tell myself, "yes" maybe I did lose out on the genetic lottery, but I would not have been dealt this hand if I could and would not handle it. I am a fighter and I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

Back to the Blogging World.....Again

Well, I'm back again for another not-very-exciting update. And not-very-exciting- only because I haven't received my new windbags yet!

I see the last time I posted was February so I guess I have a little bit to catch up on (if I can remember that far back).

It is the middle of June already.

I guess it wasn't a very exciting winter as I don't really have much to say. I made it through with no hospital admission and have been relatively stable. I'm still going to clinic in Calgary monthly. Those docs down there sure have me on a short leash! Although I must say, they are doing a great job!

I could babble on and on about how I've been feeling, but what's the fun in that. I'm fine.

My PFT's are stable.
My weight is stable.
Not diabetic yet.
Still taking lots of drugs.
Etc, etc.....

First I would like to start by complaining about how sick and tired I am of being on a leash 24/7. And no I don't mean the leash I mentioned earlier (you know, the short one my docs have me on). I mean this 55 foot hose that follows me everywhere and nearly rips my ears off about 2000000 times a day. I mean, I don't even know what it is like to get up off the couch and run to the fridge anymore without ensuring my hose is free of obstacles. Speaking of obstacles, my dog, Chance, is my biggest, most annoying obstacle that I have to overcome on a daily basis. I mean, I know he loves me a lot and wants to follow me around, but stepping/laying on my hose every time I want to go anywhere is just no longer acceptable. Note to self: Research online how to train your dog to stay OFF your oxygen tubing. Other people have this problem, I'm sure. There must be articles about it!

Oh, I do love my dog though. Here let me show you his beautiful before and after pictures of his haircut this year.



















Pretty cute eh?

Another thing I have been thinking about is how I don't even remember what I look like without oxygen on. It has been over 2 years now people! After my transplant I'm going to look in the mirror and not know who it is looking back at me. Also, I've established habits with my oxygen that are going to be hard to break. For example, getting dressed.

Step 1: Oxygen off
Step 2: Shirt off
Step 3: Oxygen back on
Step 4: New shirt on
Step 5: Oxygen off, feed under shirt until it comes out the bottom
Step 6: Oxygen back on, on top of shirt

I mean after transplant, how am I just going to cut out Steps 1, 3, 5, and 6. I am going to reaching for tubes that don't exist and people may look at me strange. Although, changing my shirt in public is not something I am planning on doing a lot of after transplant.

Another thing with this oxygen.....what's it going to be like to just put on a pair of shoes and walk out the front door. I mean right now its a 5-10 minutes ordeal.

Step 1: Walk downstairs
Step 2: Grab portable oxygen
Step 3: Disconnect oxygen tubing from home oxygen
Step 4: Reconnect oxygen to portable oxygen
Step 5: Find and put on shoes
Step 6: Grab a jacket
Step 7: Pick up 2000000 pound machine and lug to vehicle

Think about this one. After transplant I can say goodbye to steps 2, 3, 4 and 7. How exciting, what am I going to do with all my spare time?

Those are just a couple things that I can look forward too after transplant. There are going to be soo many other things that I'll be able to do without worrying about oxygen. Like showering, ooooh showering. That will be nice to do tube-free. I'm starting to realize how dogs feel when they're on a leash. But don't compare me to a dog, because I have much more self control and don't NEED this stupid leash for that reason.

Now that I've complained for a bit, let me tell you about a couple good things!!

1. I became an aunt again. My stepbrother and his wife Trina had another baby, Connor! (see below)
2. My nephew Kaden turned 2
3. Mom and I are going on a mini-vacay to Jasper in July (which I'm super stoked for!)
4. I went to see Luke Bryan in Edmonton (see pics below)
5. Pool ended, which is kind of a bummer, but I'm actually going to play on the team starting in Sept.
6. I volunteer once a week and the mall selling pull  tickets for the hospital
7. There is a big golf tournament hosted by Cheers Pub this weekend and I am volunteering there. They are having the tournament for Cystic Fibrosis. It's going to be awesome.
8. I survived the freezing winter and can now venture outside more!
9. Big Brother is coming back on in 2 weeks! (I can see numerous eye rollings going on right now)
10. I get to go camping again.
11. I got a sweet hammock to lounge in the backyard now!

I know there's more good stuff, I will think of more later!

Yes, that is beer and yes it was damn good!

Mom and I enjoying the show!

My new nephew, Connor, and I.

Kaden's 2nd Birthday!

Baby Connor! Isn't he the cutest?!

Ooh, I have also decided to try and grow another tomato plant on our deck! Wish me luck because I CANNOT wait for fried green tomatoes! 

Right now, I'm getting pretty comfortable with having time to just relax and hang out this summer. I mean work and school, what is that anyway? Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely ready to go back and finish my degree, move out, and start working but right now the sun is shining, I'm feeling good, and the beer is cold (don't worry people, 1 every now and again won't hurt a girl). 

Be back soon! 

Flappy Bird!

Well, I have found one of the most mindless things to do to occupy my time. It is also an addiction that is ruining my life. Two words....FLAPPY BIRD!

I have finally reached a three digit high score and I think it might be time to retire and move on to bigger and better things!!!

Went to CF clinic yesterday and things are going pretty good. I've lost 3 kg's since September so I need to gain at least 1 kg back by the time I go back to clinic in a month or they will not be very impressed and might start talking about a feeding tube. BLAH! That's not happening so I must EAT EAT EAT!

Well I'm still here waiting...

Its been almost 19 months of waiting on the transplant list for new lungs. It is times like these that I wish I could just go on to eBay and buy some new ones! 

Santa forgot to bring me new lungs for Christmas again this year.

I've been lucky and have not been hospitalized since September...knock on wood! My lung function is stable and I'm feeling pretty good, but I'd still like those lungs to hurry the heck up!

What else is new with me since my last post you ask? Well, I had a lovely Christmas, spending time with both my mom and dad. Lots of turkey and fun! And got spoiled, of course! 

Other than Christmas it has just been my daily routine of The Price is Right, Dr. Phil, and Ellen. If nothing else, I'm learning a lot from Dr.Phil. Haha!

I've been poked and prodded a few time since my last post as well. You know, the normal stuff, blood work and port flushes. No biggie anymore!

I try not to let little petty stuff bother me anymore. I always just think that there is bigger things to worry about in life besides the lady that just cut in front of me in line or the employee at McDonalds who forgot to put my sweet and sour sauce in the bag at the drive-thru (not going to lie, that still kind of bugs me, I NEED my sweet and sour sauce to eat my nuggets). Staying positive is pretty easy when I am remaining stable. If I start to take a turn for the worst, watch out, you probably won't want to come within 10 feet of me and my new-found negativity. But when that happens, I have my lovely mom and boyfriend to snap me out of it!

I also enjoyed a lovely day at the spa. 5 hours of being pampered. I was a fantastic day. Mani, pedi, and massage all while be offered chocolate, strawberries, and tea! I might have to splurge and indulge myself again sometime! It was  a great way to forget about everything going on!

I always say that I will try and update sooner, but I always just fall into the same pattern and forget all about updating this thing. I will say it again though....I will try my best to update the blog when I have any new and funny stories to share. Or if I ever get called for transplant I'll have my mom on here keeping everyone up to date! 

 

Still Looking Forward

Well another month has passed and not much has changed. I've been feeling really good since getting out of the hospital on October 3. My lung function is stable. The only difference now is that I have lost about 5 pounds because of another nausea episode from antibiotics. Back to the high calorie diet for me!

I've been keeping busy going to pool twice and week and seeing my dad on weekends. I was up to Edmonton last Monday to see the transplant team again and I got the same response again...."just keep waiting, it's going to happen eventually." There is a real lack of donors right now. Alberta is the lowest province in the country for its donor rate.

Speaking of donor rates. A couple weeks ago my mom, sister, aunt, and I went up to Edmonton and participated in a rally about organ donation and Bill 207. Bill 207 is the legislation that would get Alberta a donor registry. This would allow people to sign up to be an organ donor when they are renewing their drivers licenses. The Bill would also increase awareness for the need for organ donation. Anyway the rally went really well. We've been trying to increase donor awareness as much as we can.

I have been waiting for these new windbags for 16 months now. I never in a million years thought that I would be waiting this long. As long as I keep feeling the way that I am, I can just keep waiting for the perfect pair. I am more than ready to go under the big ole knife though!

Hello Again

Well, I see I'm slacking off with my updates again. What can I say, I've been busy! Pool started again the beginning of September so I've been going with my dad. I am the team scorekeeper, so I guess that makes me pretty important, haha!

We also went camping a few more time in September. I even rode the quad. Just strapped my oxygen on the back and off I went. I even managed to split tons of firewood (with the help of a log splitter). I also played some beersbie (sp?) and found out that I am terrible at throwing a frisbee. I guess I need my stepbrother, Joey, as my partner next time (him and I kicked ass at my dads house).

I'm currently in the hospital again. I've been here since last Monday. It was time for another "tune up." I'm getting out on Thursday though, which is the day before my birthday! It's been pretty uneventful being in here this time. I'm feeling really good. I've been doing lots of people watching in the lobby because let's face it....there are a lot of weird people that come in this place and it is my only entertainment.

That is all for now!